When My Nervous System Hijacked a Meeting
“My nervous system spoke before I did — and it cost me.”
— Joanna Douglas
I’ll never forget the day it happened.
I was leading a meeting with a new employee, juggling competing priorities, feeling the pressure of an impossible timeline, and running entirely on adrenaline. You know — the usual corporate cocktail that we tell ourselves is “normal.”
And then the new employee asked a simple question. A neutral question. A question that, on any other day, I could have handled with grace, clarity, and grounded presence.
Key Takeaways
Your nervous system leads the room long before you ever speak.
Stress and perceived threat activate the HPA axis, shutting down the parts of the brain responsible for calm leadership.
Emotional reactivity in leaders isn’t a character flaw — it’s biology.
Perimenopause can amplify reactivity, but it doesn’t excuse responsibility.
Conscious leadership requires nervous system literacy, not more willpower.
The Science Behind What Really Happened
When I replayed the moment, I realized I hadn’t experienced a “bad mood.”
I experienced a nervous system hijack.
Here’s the very quick science lesson:
When we perceive a threat — even something as simple as being questioned — the body activates the HPA axis. That sets off a chain reaction:
The amygdala senses danger
Cortisol surges into the bloodstream
Heart rate accelerates
Muscles brace
Breath shortens
The prefrontal cortex (the leadership part of your brain) goes partially offline
This matters because the prefrontal cortex is responsible for:
empathy
insight
strategy
emotional regulation
executive presence
holding nuance
measured communication
So in moments of stress, you’re not leading with your highest self. You’re leading with your oldest self — the primal part of your system designed to keep you alive, not keep you aligned.
My nervous system literally spoke before I did.
And that meant: I reacted from history instead of responding from consciousness.
The Aftermath No One Talks About
If you’ve ever reacted in a way you regret, you know what comes next:
replaying the moment at 2 AM
overthinking every word
feeling embarrassed or ashamed
worrying about how it changed the relationship
telling yourself, “That’s not who I am.”
And listen — shame isn’t leadership. Shame doesn’t help us grow. Shame doesn’t recalibrate the nervous system. Awareness does. Responsibility does. Presence does.
That day, I didn’t just take responsibility for my words. I took responsibility for my nervous system.
And that was the day I officially stepped into conscious leadership.
The Wake-Up: Leadership Is a Nervous System Game
People think leadership is about:
knowledge
experience
skill
strategy
communication
confidence
But in reality? Leadership is about regulation. Because you cannot lead consciously if you’re operating from a dysregulated nervous system.
That meeting showed me:
My patterns were running me
My body was speaking louder than my values
I didn’t know how to downshift in real time
I needed tools, not more pressure
So I learned:
somatic tools
breathwork
reflective practices
nervous-system awareness
pause techniques
conscious communication
grounding before responding
stepping out of reactivity and into presence
This is leadership, 2026 and beyond. This is the work
Conscious Leaders Regulate, Then Respond
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Pause. Breathe. Respond. Lead.
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They’re the backbone of self-leadership and the antidote to depletion.
Until we connect again, I hope you have a powerful day.
